Woman Requests $15,200 In Child Support for Wine Budget
Editorial Note: After this article was published, we were notified by Schillings International, LLP that the court proceedings, the subject of this blog, was intended to be private. We have complied with the Legal Notice served on us and removed the names of the parties and the Court; however, the article is still very interesting and the content relevant. We apologize for the redaction.
I don’t know about you guys, but when I think about child support, I think about stuff like school or daycare. Baby food. Diapers. Clothing. Hell, even crap like piano lessons. What I’m trying to say is that, when contemplating word associations, “child support” brings to mind things related to children.
That being said, I’ve got to hand it to [mother], the soon-to-be ex-wife of rich hedge fund manager [father], for thinking outside the box when it comes to her calculation of child support. In addition to all those standard “needful” things that parents have to buy to take care of their children, she’s also factored in a lil’ somethin’ for herself: a wine budget. More specifically, a wine budget of $15,200 per year.
Babies Whine, Mommies “Wine”
At least, that’s [mother]’s logic. And while it might seem a bit bourgeois to request that ritzy alcohol be included in a budget for child support, can you honestly say that you don’t see where she’s coming from — right and wrong aside?
Who among us hasn’t poured themselves a glass of chardonnay after a particularly exhausting day on the grind? Going a bit further, who among us, having adopted such relaxation into the day-to-day schedule, would find it easy to give up?
All of us are different, with different methods of winding down when we’re stressed. What works for some people might not work for others. For example, I know a few dads who use fishing as an unwinding mechanism. I’ve heard tale of something called “exercise” that people also use. And, of course, there are those who prefer the timeless and self-explanatory healing powers of comfort food. If there’s a more widely recognized method of winding down than comfort food, I’d put money on that being the consumption of alcohol.
Keep in mind that [mother] isn’t just saying “pay me tons of money for wine so I don’t have to experience the horrors of alcohol withdrawal.” No, what she’s saying is more like, “pay me tons of money for wine because being married to you has made wine a habit and these insanely expensive, time-consuming, emotionally exhausting divorce proceedings are already weighing heavily on my transition to single mother.”
It’s weird to say, but especially when you take off the $15,200 price tag and consider the concept of a wine budget on its own, there does seem to be some weight to her argument. At the very least, it’s not totally weightless…
… But Really? $15,200? For Wine?
Yes, so the idea of a wine budget isn’t the craziest thing in the headlines these days. Anyone who’s even remotely clued in on the state of America’s presidential election can attest to that. What’s really unreasonable about [father]’s proposal isn’t the premise itself, but the cash value she’s calculated as “necessary.”
Because wine isn’t that expensive, unless you’re buying expensive wine. Ever heard of Yellowtail? How about Woodbridge? Barefoot? The list goes on, but the point is there are a shit-ton of inexpensive options for those whose list of basic needs includes food, water, shelter, and wine.
As you might have guessed, [mother]’s wine budget was not drafted with the aforementioned brands in mind. Vanity Fair has very graciously dissected her budget for us: $15,200 translates to about 1,520 glasses of wine per year, or 29 glasses per week — just over 4 glasses per day. But let’s remember, we’re not talking about $8 bottles of Yellowtail. Vanity Fair has calculated that this 4-glasses-a-day budget assumes that [father] will be buying bottles that cost around $50 each. The good stuff.
At this point, it’s worth remembering that this expense will be a part of her “child support.” Ha ha ha. Ha.
Did She Get It?
Well… She hasn’t not gotten it, yet. I’m pretty impressed that her proposal has even been considered — like, that’s REALLY, REALLY impressive.
The fact that she wasn’t laughed out of the courtroom might have something to do with the nation where this trial is taking place: England, or perhaps the man behind the gavel. This isn’t to say he’s on her side. After all, he’s already brought up the gaping hole in [father]’s logic that has probably crossed all of our minds:
“The child is aged seven and does not consume the wine.”
Yes, quite so, quite so. The legal drinking age is twenty-one cycles of the four seasons, and a child “aged seven” has only completed one third of the requisite cycles. But Judge had a little more to say than that:
“I should not allow as high a figure as 10,500 pounds per annum for wine, although I do, in my approach, still allow for a significant figure for wine.”
Judge — comin’ alive! A drinkin’ man! [Mother], you a lucky lady, because there’s no way in hell that all, or even MOST, judges love drinking enough to consider it an appropriate consideration for child support. Child support. Then again, I’m from Tennessee. England’s cultural atmosphere is probably somewhat different than what I’m used to in the deep American south.
So, the question of whether [mother] succeeded in justifying her wine budget in the court of law can be answered with a firm “kind of.” She hasn’t not gotten it, but if she does, it’s pretty much guaranteed that she won’t be getting as much as she wants.
The Wild World Of Child Support
If nothing else, this story proves just how complicated the calculation of child support can be. Same goes for every single part of the divorce process. Yes, the wine budget is weird, but stranger things can and do happen all the time in child support proceedings — after all, the more money you get for child support, the more money you have! When it comes to child support calculations, it literally pays to push the envelope.
Depending on who you are in the divorce, this fact can either help or hurt you. If you’re [mother] and are worried that you won’t be able to drink as much wine after you get divorced, the flexible nature of child support is probably blessing. If you’re [mother]’s husband, [father], you might feel differently, since yours is the bank account containing the child support payments.
Whoever you are, you can be sure of one thing: calculating child support is much more likely to have satisfactory results if you’re working with skilled legal representation. At Turner Law Offices, P.C., our team of attorneys have years of experience working with clients across a wide range of cases involving child support. Divorce is pretty much our “thing.” And the sooner you find representation, the better your chances of achieving the resolution you’re looking for — so don’t wait!
Call today, or go online to set up your free initial consultation, and meet with a skilled Nashville child support lawyer who’s reading and waiting to get you on track toward the justice you deserve.
